♞Sleep Paralysis: A Loophole in Science♞

I’ve heard a lot of tales and explanation about people sleep paralysing, both traditionally and scientifically. I never really took it seriously until this morning which I believe I experienced the legendary “Sleep Paralysis”. I’ll be through with the narrating.

That night, I went to sleep at 12am but woke up to take a bath at 1pm because I forgot to obviously lol. I slept until 7am when my sister woke me up to get her shirt for her because she has nothing on. I immediately went back to sleep afterward and was awake at around 8:30am. I was watching a couple of online med videos on youtube on bed only to find myself falling asleep again (without knowing of course.) into a vivid dream.

In the dream, I was at my aunt office place (well similar) where I was walking to the back of the place to the bathroom to find a whiteboard on the wall with bloody letter (or just red ink  LOL). I didn’t pay much attention to the words nor was I scared or anything and walk straight to the toilet like I couldn’t careless. As I was about to do my toilet business, the light black out. I immediately assume, my aunt must be leaving her office and is turning off everything, and forgot that I was here…so I shouted for help to let her know that I was still in that house and then I was back on my bed. I wasn’t sure if it’s a dream or reality, but this was what happened at that moment. (I’m getting goosebump typing this ._.)

I was sleeping in a foetus position on my bed but I suddenly found it impossible to move. I tried lifting my legs but it stuck (Actually unlike what people said about being pressed down, it just felt like I have no control over it). I then heard voices (It sounded like Thai Language) whispering and circulating above my head. It got louder and louder but I couldn’t understand anything. I tried looking up to the voice but my vision was also stuck (it’s hard to explain like I can’t barely see anything nor open my eyes but I felt like I was seeing the room at the same time…so hard to explain lol). I was so scared but I didn’t wanna lose to the force. I tried to lift my hands again but can’t. I paused for a moment then I gathered all my energy and “bam”. I got up with all my energy and ran to my parents room to find my mom. I immediately told her about it, and she said something about the ancestor must be tired and actually slept/sat on me while I was sleeping.

Immediately, I was back to my bed sleeping in the foetus position again. I suddenly realized it was a dream. I can move now. My mom walked in my room, and I told her about it again for real, and she gave me a glare and said, “See, I told you to not sleep for too long! Now you’re imagining stuff.” (-.-seriously, mommy xD facepalm)

I immediately look up “Sleep Paralysis.” The scientific explanation about interrupted REM sleep made sense and I was convince except what I noticed was Science couldn’t really explain why most people who suffer sleep paralysis often see a demonic figure pressing them down. Like why? And my case, them voices @@ why?

I’m scared. Bye .____. *goosebump*

 

 

 

❤ Celebrity Crush Alert ❤

I was just trying out a new Kdrama called, Moonlight Drawn By Cloud, only to find myself unable to take my eyes off the main actor. He’s just perfect. OMG @@. His face. His cheekbone. His smile <3. His gaze. This dude lol. My heart haha.

P.S. I just like his looks. That’s all. LOL

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And this is a video of him xD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WWnkkUchbM

☯ 5 Days Challenge: No Facebook ☯

Ever since I grabbed hold of computer, I’ve become an addict. I find joy in simply staring at the computer screen. It gives me life. I know it is not that bad of a thing since everyone else is probably doing the same but I find myself too dependent on it to the point where I don’t think I can survive without it. Activities ranges facebooking, watching kdramas, playing games, youtubing, but mostly because I am doing a project, I’ve been overusing Facebook a lot like till 2pm the latest. However, since next week is exam week for medical school final, I decide to challenge myself to not use facebook for 5 days. How bad could it get. My hypothesis is I’ll probably struggle during the first few day but I’ll be okay afterward.

As a preparation, I already my close ones that I’ll be gone for a week.

Day1: I feel a bit sick at first. I feel like I’m missing out on stuff. Life suddenly became boring. I felt asleep for 2 hours in the afternoon, but I’m feeling sorta okay now.

Day4: It feels great. I’ve freed myself from the stress of nonsense. The anxiousness of those replying or those ignoring you. I like being away from the world where people are self absorbed and forgot to live in real life. However, i do feel slightly left out and disconnected. After my friends and my world’s there. LOL

[To be Updated]

📚 JUNE Challenge: Lesson of the Day 📚

  • 1st:  Never be afraid to show off yourself to the world especially putting your talent and achievement out there for the world to see because that is what people will remember first when they think of you, and you will never where it can get you too.
    • I used to be very secretive with anything I do in general because I thought I should keep a humble image, but after today’s meeting, where we were trying to come up with potential judges and trainers for the debate, I realized that letting the world see your achievement can take you places.
  • 2nd: Don’t worry about your look too much. People fall for confidence, intelligence, and not your look. Moreover, you wouldn’t wanna put yourself around people who likes merely your looks anyway. But for whatever reason, you should always groom yourself well to look neat and professional just to fit in society.
    • Someone somehow made a public confession in class. Someone who are not allowed to do so nor will I name who it is, but it was unexpected and rather something I wouldn’t wanna find out.
  • 3rd: Learn the traffic rule and remember it well so once you have problem, you’ll be okay.
    •  I was feeling motivated today. So, I reckoned I should stop by CSC only to got into a minor accident on the way there. It was my first time. It was both of us fault but it was my turn to go. I had the priority since I was by the roundabout, but after a long argument, I gave him 30000R because his leg was slightly injured. I felt slightly cheated on but that is okay since he was injured and his motorcycle cracked a bit.

 

Update: Life got a bit hectic so I forgot about this. My bad :3 [CHALLENGE FAILED]

🌟 YSEALI: A bridge to my goal 🌟

I have never been devoted to anything my whole life. Today I was preparing my last minute application form for the YSEALI, and no I did not procrastinate like other time. It just that I put more effort in the essay more than ever which resulting in prolonging preparation period. I noticed my writing has been downgrading a lot. I no longer write creatively. I follow format and structure.

Back to the topic, I wrote an essay a month ago, and rewrote them again this morning only to get them commented by Daddy and had to rewrite it again. I then reach out to fellow AYC-er and YSEALI Alumni for advice. Lalin gave me many advices, Boromey helped corrected the essay, and Bong Vathna helped reducing the words to its limit, and even called me to explain about his corrections.

I was so stressed out today that when I finally clicked send, I felt like a rock was lifted off my chest. My essay is good although there are some grammatical error but I am too tired to make anymore changes. I think it’s enough of change for today.

Finger-crossed! I am desperate for this so bad but even if I might fail, I won’t regret because I gave it my best shot.

People told me that if I’m only applying for the sake of going to the US, don’t! But what I want to tell them is that, my goal is real, and YSEALI will be the bridge for me to achieve it.

Side note: I know what your feeling about lately, Tol. You’re confused and not knowing what to do exactly, and how to handle this uncontrollable situation. There’s hints but they’re not too obvious. You hope or not hope it might be true but then again if it’s true you wouldn’t know how to handle it, but if you ignore it, you might miss the chance forever lol. Such confusion. Such complexity. The self-contradiction is real lmao.

Well, anyways, best wishes to me for the YSEALI application.

Update: I failed.

Re-update: I applied again for the Spring Fellowship, and woohoo. I made it this time. KSU, I’m coming for you!

🍀 My Butt Hurts LOL 🍀 #AYCRetreat <3

I just had the first trip ever to the province without my parents. Yes! Finally! My parents trusted me!

It was a strategic planning event or the so-called, “The AYC Retreat.” I’m having it with a group of 25 members from the U.S Ambassador’s Youth Council. I missed it last year so I decided to not miss it again and I gotta say it was the best decision I ever made so far as an adult.

During this trip, I had so many firsts: first time on an independent trip, first time kayaking, first time playing the secret angel, first time making effort first bonfire, first time actually playing a ukelele, first time on a boat trip, first time planting mangrove, first time getting closed to those who I didn’t initially like so much, first time tasting soju, first time sleeping for less than 3 hours or so thanks to the boat sounds and people partying haha, …

I learnt and discovered many new things. So much memories and so much experiences, the trip started off with me being the second latest person to arrive. I didn’t prepare well the night before. I found myself sitting near Mr. President. It got quite awkward somehow lol until I remembered to ask him to teach me about the composition of digital camera because I was suppose to be the event’s photographer only to found out a few minutes later that the memory’s space was full. We then stopped at a kiosk to have breakfast and came up to sit with a mixing batch pattern. We got to know our seat mate and picked out names of our “secret victim” that we have to take care of secretly through out the entire trip. The idea itself sounded fun although I didn’t get to fulfill much of my role in taking care off because first of all I’m very introverted and second of all my secret victim is a boy lol. We immediately ate when we arrive, as well as doing many other things. After we ate, my pants unzipped. One of the dude, Vathana, whisper to a girl to come tell me about it. I felt so embarrassed yet I think I started to doubt whether he’s my secret angel. I then learn a bit more about photography with Senghong. Swimming time arrived, adn I couldn’t wait to jump into water until I realized my pants were too short. I don’t really want to wear them in front of so many people so I decided to walked out of my room only to find, Vathana, again. This time he asked me whether I swim or not if I didn’t remember wrong. I then asked if he has a boxer I can borrow. He said he has 2 and lent me one of them. I was uncertain at first if it was right for me to wear other people’s pants but I ended up wearing it anyway. Despite one downside which is the muddy and rough ground, I really enjoyed swimming especially kayaking. It was so relaxing. I wondered why I never actually did this before. It gives the best feeling in the world. All my stress is just gone.

After swimming and eating comes the bonfire and sharing session. We all sit in circle and shared our stories, doubts, thoughts, and true feeling. It was probably the most meaningful part of the trip for me because i can actually open up and let people know the real me. It felt like I lifted a burden off my shoulders. It was easier to be myself afterward and I also got to know these people more. ❤ They also did a surprise bd for my and my secret victim since our bd are closed. I was so thankful. They creatively made a cake out of sands and the other with piles of pudding cake.

That night, I went to bed earlier than everyone else at 12:30 maybe to find my self struggling to fall asleep because of the music from speaker, the talk, the footsteps from people dancing partying outside. I couldn’t fall asleep for 2 hours so i decided to go to the toilet to find myself being forced to give soju a small sip. I gave it a try and dang, I hate it. I don’t get why people drink because no it doesn’t taste good at all. I asked B Raingsey if I could sleep in her room since it’s further from the noise. I went to room 8 as she told only to found out in the morning that it was actually room 6 and I went to sleep in room 5 lol. Haha big mistake. I got up 5 in the morning to the sounds of boat engine coming closer then further then closer again. I got up in the morning to meet my secret victim and felt guilty because I haven’t done anything for him lol.

I also find myself holding and playing the ukelele once in a while. I actually learn them with another dude, San. He discovered the chord to One Last Time purely through guessing. Pretty dope. He thought I was his secret angel.

During the boat trip, I was too rushed and forgot my hat so I decided to just sleep and ignored the burning sun only to find someone putting a hat on my head. I immediately asked whose it was to find out it was the president, my high-chance-of-being-my-secret-angel candidate to be the one who passed the hat way from the front to the me at the back. I tried giving it back because I was guilty and I knew he only did that for the game but people told me to just wear it. Though I gave it back to him when we arrived. Game or not, I was so touched though how he observe and see what I needed.

As we went to the beach, my secret victim got cut so I knew it’s time I do sth for him so I ran around finding first aid and put on the bandage for him. He knew it from that time and kept asking me if I was his secret angel afterward.

On the way back, when we revealed the secret angel I got him a drink because I was thankful he was being nice to me even during his hard times, while other’ secret angel didn’t do much for them. Despite how many times, I refused, my secret victim guessed me as his secret angel due to the bandage incident. Half way, I noticed the driver was very sleepy so I called out the president to go sit next to him to find out later that his eyes were like that.

I arrived home safe and sound to find my butt hurts from sitting too long on wood planks near the water but the amazingness of the trip compensates it all. It was again another best trip ever! I will cherish the memory forever. ❤ Thank you, AYC. 13254321_1206133529411349_5738033868490286407_n

Update:

P.S. If I were take out something I’ve learnt about myself from this trip would be the fact that getting my weakness out there actually puts the burden off my shoulder and that I can finally be myself, and second of all, from the secret angel game, I notice I’m a person who doesn’t know how to take care of people but I should learn to do it more because it feels good ❤

✚ Intern Journal ✚ Pt. 1 05/05/2016

Networking is love. Networking is life. I hate how society work yet I work like society.

Although, I am in my third year at med school, I still have no hardcore experience in the hospital. I once told my mom to see if she can use her connection to drop in as an intern at some hospitals or clinics. I just want to learn and apply some theories to practice. It was a saying-with-no-serious-intention sorta thing, but weeks later my mom got me a spot at this non-profit hospital, CSC.

I started my lost and awkward internship at the ophthalmology department since Thursday last week 28th May, but I was really lost. It made sense how I didn’t understand many things nor did I had the courage to ask any questions at all partly due to my shyness as well as the fact I know non including the basic, it’s hard to know where to ask first. I knew basically nothing except the anatomy of the eye and the so-called cataract.

I went there right after my french class all excited, and I skipped lunch. I arrived at 1 as told. I was taken around my the dude who works with my mom. He took me around half-heartedly but kindly. I was taken to change, got a locker, and got my fingerprint marked. I went to meeting of strange people who I later found out they were all workers and not interns. They were cold at first. I guessed it’s probably I’m too rerk myself. The first day was uncool. I seriously did not know what to do, who to talk to, and what to say. Neither do them, I was the first student intern in that department, plus I got in due to connections. They must not have felt so well about it. It was time-consuming since I learnt nothing yet it was a new experience so I couldn’t help wanting to go again. It felt like I received a rare chance.

For the first few days, I would just sit next to a doctor consulting patients trying to stare into the patients eye hoping it’s not infectious. I seriously stared into more than 100 sick eyes during the last few days. I tried to absorb as many new words, diseases as I can. Though I knew very little of them. Like c’mon I’m just a third year after all, plus I didn’t had the courage to ask. The doctor were too busy with too many patients plus my shy disease is recurring. It’s hard to talk. I stayed silent most of the time.

It’s been my third or fourth day over there, I lost count lmao. I got to know them better and they are very nice. I met with the hospital director today, he told me to start working as a nurse first which I also thought was a good idea. I started with nurse work and I noticed it was more fun and I learn much more than sitting and staring at the patient face except that one time where I wanted to test the patient’s tear glands but gave up half way because I didn’t wanna hurt her. I even scrub in in the afternoon and gave up half way also because I was of no use. I did not know the name of the apparatus.

Well, narration aside, I wanted to keep a diary for the new things I’ve learnt well medically related:

Diseases Newly Discovered:

  • Cataract: Mature, and Immature?
  • Pterygium: Dos katuy thlaen: no medication only surgery.
  • Entopian: Mreng Jak Pnek in Khmer. The lash gets into the eye because the lids turn in or sth I’m not very sure.
  • Glaucoma: Increase pressure in the eyeball due to HTA+
  • Myosis?
  • Cornea Ulcer: Greenish color: Give medication
  • Ptosis: Eyelid droops off. For children, leave undone until 4 years old to see if it’s gonna cover completely.
  • Parents of children rubbing edge of the eye and pull to the nose bridge?
  • Pex Syndrome

Consultation:

  1. Ask patients why they came? For what reasons though mostly it’s either pain, or blurry vision.
  2. Examine there eyes with ophthalmoscope, sometimes, black charts, or flashlight.
  3. Ask if they have arterial hypertension (HTA), Diabetes, or Tuberculosis or just any other diseases.
  4. With ophthalmoscope, check their MPAD or sth like that which I’m not very sure yet. and /AC sth. I couldn’t quite remember.
  5. If there pupil is too constrict, ask nurse to put some droplet which I couldn’t figure nor bother ask the name so the pupil dilates and makes it better to view through the machine.
  6. Ask for paraclinic examinations or give them medication.

Cataract Surgery:

  1. There are two types as I far as I’ve learnt:
    • Small Incision Surgery: for dense lens: removing the lens mechanically.
    • Phaco: with machine that breaks through the lens and absorb them. No big incision necessary.
    • Anesthetic patients’ eye won’t move. Thats’s how you can tell it’s under anesthesia.
  2. The process based on my memory would be:
    1. Do a small tie on the top of the eye ball to stiff the globe.
    2. Make incision on conjunctiva on the top of the iris part, and a small incision and the 8-clock-hand.
    3. Some gel, water, and air.
    4. Cut the vitruis.
    5. Remove or break the lens.
    6. Replace lens.
    7. Suture or not lol.

#I’ll try to understand it more next time.

Nurse Work:

  • SWO: testing if lacrimal tube is blocked.
    • Use Propacaine.
    • Wait a minute.
    • Use the bending syringe.
    • Insert straight then turn into the lacrimal tube.
    • Push the syringe if the patient say they can taste the serum then it’s not blocked.
    • SWO –> Left: Block/ –>Right: No Block
  • K:
    • Click the small rectangle at the bottom left to find KRT?
    • Adjust the camera.
    • Move the circle to the center.
    • Press the joystick to take picture.
    • The different between both eyes should be bigger than 2.
  • A scan:
    • Put Propocaine
    • Press Right, or left, Normal or Dense.
    • Put the tube into the center of the eye and wait until 5 lines show on the screen.
    • Press IOL
    • Inster K numbers.
    • Press ‘–>
    • If the sth is under 1.00 or 0.10 it’s good, but the different result for boths eyes shouldnt be bigger than 2.
  • Preping for surgery:
    • Sign the parient.
    • Take vital: Blood Pressure: 140/80 π: Pulse
    • Use Tropicamide, stick the tape, and cute the lashes.
  • VA: 6/6 perfecto!

That’s all I can recall. It’s already 11:30. I’m going to sleep now since I have to wake up early to go to the hospital again tomorrow. One of the nurse promise to guide me on the VA which stands for whatever I’m not sure.

I thought I knew nothing but it seems like I’ve learnt alot actually. So many new things. Woah.

Virabot

#OnMyWayToBecomeAGeniusDoctor ❤ #MoreLikeAGeniusOphthalmologist #Lmao #Ican’sspellitright #I’mSleepy #Bye #I’llUpdateMore